Friday, June 17, 2005

three and a half tongues.

i turn a comforter into a cocoon because i am never satisfied. she does it so she can make a sulking tent, a depressio-hut, but she doesn't know quite how unsanitary it is. i learned that you can climb into the internet and make sushi or indian food show up at your door in less time than it takes me to construct a sentence in this godforsaken lung. you can turn your whole body curry-orange and feel like you go on forever, like you're looking in a mirror that has a mirror in front of it. i think that's how everything looks in places that are far away from here. you know, secret places. secret, cosmic places so cosmic and so secret that i lost my train of thought.

my phone died, which is to say that at one in the morning when you try to catch the last RER home because you don't want to pay for a cab and you're in the traincar without seats and there are fortynine people in a seven foot square and the lights are flickering and you don't know if you're a virgin anymore someone took it out of your pocket. it's okay, though, because i was given a new one by the red cross. hospitals are made up of a bunch of apartment buildings that aren't even glued together.

there is something with three and half tongues that doesn't know the difference between do and make (and now neither do i) and that kills me and then washes its hands like a surgeon. more on this later.

i'm trying to skip the middleman so i've written an email to the director of the math department at paris iv. if he speaks english then he'll think that i'm a bumbling, stupid american, take pity on me and make me his apprentice. we'll probably sleep together and his wife will find out and kick him out of the house. he'll try to move in with me but i'm not having it. i'm just not ready for that sort of commitment, much less complete disregard for the professional ethic. maybe i can babysit his kids and learn broken french. maybe the government will give me money. i need to play cards tomorrow. they actually gamble with tarot cards here. there goes your "joke," mr. wright.

tomorrow i will buy sneakers so my feet don't bleed anymore. the ghosts in the bathroom slammed the door again. i knew there were magnets here. i have some explaining to do.

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