why i say "jesus" and "fuck" when i fuck

(it is my solemn oath that the following entry will not have anything to do with its title.)

we are going to record an a capella version of "if i can't have you" where girlvoice mimics the piano by screaming like a monkey. it won't be perfect; it won't even be good. but it will be more fun than those nights i spent walking on the inside of a telephone. anything would.

i wonder how les voisins will feel if i try to throw a fourth of july barbecue in the courtyard. do you think i could make some flyers that pitch it as a cultural event? or is america not exotic enough since it's already everywhere? they'd be there if i played that goddamned rap music they love. please, baby, if you come i'll force down your fucking foie gras on bastille day. i can handle it...it's just like potted meat. yet despite my namesake i have no taste for caviar.

i don't know anything about nutrition, but i think cheese is a good source of protein if you can't afford meat. and cheese is more expensive than meat. and i can get a bottle of fake champagne pink for 1€ but i'm afraid to go outside because

(i'm going in search of the titular line and on my way i'll ask god why temptation can't resist me.)