i want to drink this, but i will.

(four in the morning: putting it in my nose en france.)

so far, incredible fun. almost died in new jersey. torrential winds make it difficult to land airplanes, i hear. next thing i know, some muslims steal my whiskey by the seine. they were very drunk and i, having already consumed too much of the bottle, immediately forgave them. not so for others. "why don't you stop her, evan?!" "why doesn't she stop herself?!" i wish i could find the interrobang on this thing.

tomorrow, which is essentially today since i essentially woke up at midnight (and by essentially i mean actually), i am going to go look for a job and find out how to apply for school here. in preparation for this, naima has given me a beautiful and hilariously european haircut, which i will post some pictures of as soon as i can kill someone and steal their money and go buy some amero-europo adapters at the hilariously european fnac.

no one should ever throw their money away on a fancy weight-loss program. they should throw their money away on moving to france, where there is no such thing as food and every such thing as walking around all the time. i think i've already lost ten pounds, and at this rate I should weigh approximately zero pounds in approximately 25 days or, as the natives say, "approximately zero kilograms."

i miss everyone in alabama, and by "miss" i mean "need a favor from." make those goddamned "bush/cheney '08" bumper stickers, tshirts, and hunting caps, then sell them for a lot of money and send me a generous portion of the proceeds. file it under R & D, R.D.