the only thing that has even gotten close to frustrating me this week is the ebay treasure hunt. this is a game where the lovely people at ebay post incredibly vague clues intended to lead you to an object being sold at auction. if you find it, you get $1000. simple enough, right? well, here's an example i've thrown together to try and explain the logic behind this little scavenger affair:
clue: phalanges.
answer: well, a phalanx is a bone in the finger or toe. that song "head, shouders, knees, and toes" sort of reminds me of a shampoo, and that's also the name of a warren beatty movie which co-stars goldie hawn, who's name rhymes with "dawn," which is when the sun rises; bread rises too and, slangily, bread is money, which is, by an old adage, equivalent to time, which can be read on clock; clocks tic(k) and so do people with tourette's syndrome; george gilles de la tourette was born in london, a city sharing its name with the guy who wrote the call of the wild; a WILDebeest is a type of antelope and "ante" means "before," so what's before "lope" in webster's? lop! and you could, if you chose, lop someone's arms off with a samurai sword. so, if you want the $1000, you should enter "teenage mutant ninja turtles" in the search bar because, if i remember correctly, at least one of them has a samurai sword. if that doesn't work, you need to delve into the history of whichever artist that turtle is named after. try searching the maiden name of his long-dead wife.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
inanimate objects.
ideally, this publication (what?) should contain little more than rambling lists of things of which i am sick and tired. it might be entertaining. funny even. unfortunately, i am cursed with more patience than the yarmuk hospital (okay, maybe it would never be funny). i need to be more infuriated. i need to feel anger. to hate inanimate objects. to want to break people, places and things. add ideas to that.
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